I can’t ride a bike. Yes, that’s right. I CAN’T RIDE A BIKE. It’s hard, and I don’t understand how we’re all so nonchalant about riding these flimsy metal things all over the place.
Before you judge my parents as failures or whatever, let me make something clear: This was all my fault. My inability to ride a bike is not for lack of effort from my friends and family.
My parents tried, my friends tried, and my friends’ parents tried. Heck, even my driving instructor offered to give me an hour of free bike riding lessons when he was done teaching me how to drive a car. None of them succeeded. I couldn’t learn how to ride a bike.
It all boils down to two fundamental problems with me as a human being. First of all, I have zero motor skills and very little coordination. Riding a bike takes both of those things. Like, you know when you just sit on top of it and start peddling and it goes? Yeah, well, I can’t do that. Every time I try, my bike just topples over.
My second problem is quite simple: I am a lazy piece of sh*t. I really do not enjoy forcing myself to do things I do not want to do. Especially when they are hard and require any sort of physical exertion on my part.
So as soon as my instructor at the given momentletsgo after promising not to let go and I inevitably fall, I quit. Because you know what’s more fun than forcing myself to do this weird, unnatural act? Literally ANYTHING ELSE.
As far as I’m concerned, life has been pretty breezy, since I’ve relied on a combination of my two feet and various motorized vehicles to get me from Point A to Point B. So, no, I never really saw a whole lot of urgency in learning how to ride a bike. I even strategically chose my college at a small campus so that I would never feel pressured to ride my bike to class or whatever it is that kids from big schools do to get around.
But something changed for me last week. I was challenged.
I have had the same three best friends since I was 12 years old. They know everything about me. Everything including the fact that I cannot ride a bike. So the four of us have been planning a trip to Europe nextfall and, in athe whirlwind of planning, talks of a “bike tour” came out.
Read it for yourself (and, yeah, I KNOW my font is crazy big on my phone. I have bad eyes. Sue me):